How to Write an Obituary

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Writing an obituary is a deeply personal and important task that honours a loved one’s life. It serves as both a public announcement of a death and a tribute to the person who has passed. Taking on this responsibility can feel overwhelming, but breaking it down into manageable steps can help you create a meaningful and respectful tribute.

Here is a comprehensive guide on how to write an obituary, including what to include, helpful templates, and tips for personalization.

Part 1: Gathering the Essential Information

Before you start writing, it’s helpful to gather all the necessary details. This ensures accuracy and completeness.

Essential Information Checklist:

  • Full Name of the Deceased: Include any middle names, maiden names, or cherished nicknames.
  • Dates and Places:
    • Date of birth
    • Place of birth
    • Date of death
    • Place of death (e.g., city, state/country)
  • Key Biographical Details:
    • Parents’ names
    • Spouse’s name (and wedding date, if desired)
    • Schools attended and degrees earned
    • Military service history
    • Career path, including place of employment and notable achievements
  • Family Information:
    • A list of surviving family members (spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings). It’s common to list them by relationship.
    • A list of close family members who passed away before the deceased (predeceased).
  • Service Details:
    • Date, time, and location of the funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life.
    • Name of the officiant, if applicable.
    • Details about a wake or reception, if open to the public.
    • Information about a private service if that is the case.
  • Donation Information:
    • In lieu of flowers, you can specify a charity or fund for donations to be made in the deceased’s name. Include the full name of the organization and a mailing address or website for donations.
  • A Recent Photograph: Choose a clear, recent photo that you feel captures their spirit.

Part 2: Structuring the Obituary

An obituary typically follows a standard structure. You can use this as a guide to organize the information you’ve gathered.

A Step-by-Step Writing Process:

Step 1: The Announcement This is the opening of the obituary and should include the most critical information.

  • Start with the person’s full name, age, city of residence, and date of death.
  • You can also include the place of death and a brief mention of the cause, though this is optional (e.g., “after a courageous battle with cancer” or “peacefully at home”).

Example:

“Jane Ann Doe, 82, of Singapore, passed away peacefully on June 23, 2025, surrounded by her family.”

Step 2: The Biographical Sketch This section tells the story of their life. You can write this chronologically or focus on key themes.

  • Mention their date and place of birth and their parents’ names.
  • Include significant life events such as their education, marriage, career, and military service.
  • Share their passions, hobbies, and what brought them joy. This is where you can truly personalize the obituary.

Example:

“Born in Singapore on October 15, 1942, to John and Mary Smith, Jane was a lifelong learner. After graduating from the National University of Singapore, she dedicated 30 years to teaching at Raffles Girls’ School, where she inspired countless students. She married the love of her life, John Doe, in 1965. Jane was an avid gardener, a passionate bird watcher, and was famous among friends and family for her incredible laksa.”

Step 3: The Family Listing Acknowledge the family members who are grieving.

  • List surviving family members. It’s common to start with the spouse, followed by children (and their spouses), grandchildren, parents, and siblings.
  • Mention any close family members who predeceased them.

Example:

“She is survived by her loving husband of 60 years, John; her children, Michael (Sarah) Doe and Emily (David) Tan; her grandchildren, Rachel, Ben, and Chloe. She was predeceased by her brother, Robert Smith.”

Step 4: The Service Information Clearly state the details for any planned services.

  • Provide the full date, time, and address for the funeral, memorial service, wake, or visitation.
  • If the service is private, state that clearly.

Example:

“A funeral service will be held at 10:00 AM on Saturday, June 28, 2025, at the Singapore Funeral Parlour, 123 Orchard Road. All who knew and loved Jane are welcome to attend.” Or for a private service: “A private service will be held for immediate family.”

Step 5: Concluding with Special Messages This is the final part of the obituary.

  • Include information about memorial donations in lieu of flowers.
  • You can also add a short, heartfelt message, a favorite quote, or a thank you to caregivers or medical staff.

Example:

“In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the Singapore Cancer Society in Jane’s memory. The family would like to express their sincere gratitude to the staff at Singapore General Hospital for their compassionate care.”

Part 3: Templates for Inspiration

Here are a couple of templates you can adapt.

Template 1: Traditional and Comprehensive

[Full Name], [Age], of [City of Residence], passed away on [Date of Death] in [Place of Death].

Born in [City of Birth] on [Date of Birth] to [Parents’ Names], [First Name] graduated from [School Name] and went on to [describe career/accomplishments]. [He/She] married [Spouse’s Name] in [Year] and together they raised [Number] children in [City].

[First Name] was known for [his/her] love of [hobby/passion] and was an active member of [organization/club]. [He/She] will be remembered for [mention a key quality, e.g., their infectious laugh, their generosity, their unwavering optimism].

[He/She] is survived by [list of surviving family members]. [He/She] was predeceased by [list of predeceased family members].

A service to celebrate [First Name]’s life will be held at [Time] on [Date] at [Location]. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to [Charity Name] at [Website/Address].

Template 2: Shorter and More Modern

With heavy hearts, we announce the passing of [Full Name], who left us on [Date of Death] at the age of [Age].

A lifelong [adjective, e.g., adventurer, artist, teacher], [First Name] filled [his/her] life with [mention passions, e.g., travel, painting, family]. Those who knew [First Name] will never forget [a memorable quality or story].

[He/She] leaves behind a loving family: [list of immediate family].

Please join us to celebrate [his/her] life at [Location] on [Date] at [Time]. In memory of [First Name], please consider a donation to [Charity Name].

Part 4: Tips for Writing a Personal and Meaningful Obituary

  • Tell a Story: Don’t just list facts. Share a brief anecdote or memory that captures their personality.
  • Use a Conversational Tone: Write as if you are talking about your loved one to a friend. It’s okay to use warm and informal language.
  • Involve Others: Ask other family members and friends for their favorite memories. This can help you paint a fuller picture and makes the process a shared act of remembrance.
  • Proofread Carefully: Before submitting the obituary, have someone else read it over to check for any errors in names, dates, or spelling.
  • There is No Right or Wrong Way: Ultimately, the best obituaries are written from the heart. What matters most is that you honour your loved one in a way that feels authentic and true to their memory.

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